Friends (both fictional and otherwise),tarot cards, my magic eight-ball and my book of Ram Dass one-liners.

So far, I haven't died.

Successful method? I think so.

Today. Shruti's party totally put me in a "the world is such a beautiful, magical place full of beautiful, magical things and beautiful, magical people" kind of mood. It rocks.

So there I was: looking through my files. I was actually looking for some fic I'd THOUGHT I had saved because I want to put it on my sister's ghetto!touch which I have almost completely claimed as my own. But as I looked through I found that the fics I wanted were not there, but my old schoolwork was. And I found this. And I remembered it as being awesome. So rather than actually reread it and find out it sucked, I've decided to post it on here and remain with my idealized memories. But I do hope that the few (none) unfortunate enough to stumble upon this entry at least get some sort of satisfaction or entertainment from it.

This is dedicated to every girl that's ever been named Sarah ever. And if you happen to be someone I know named Sarah, then it's extra-dedicated to you. Just beacuse I can.

The Adventures of Kwen the Rock

Once upon a time, there was a chunk of grey sandstone named Kwen. He hadn't always been a lone piece of sandstone, though. He had once been part of a big piece of sandstone known as The Used. But one day, his neighbor chunk of rock, Branden, was being really annoying. Finally, Kwen couldn't take it anymore, and he broke himself off of The Used by putting pressure on an existing crack in the rock. Sadly he had forgotten that his rock was located on the side of a cliff, and he found himself falling through air after detaching himself from his brothers. As he tumbled down the steep, rocky slope, other rocks pierced his rough flesh, sending fragments of his body flying alongside him. After what seemed an eternity, he landed at the bottom with a resounding thud. The sound of his impact echoed desolately off of the canyon walls, betraying its emptiness. For the first time in his life, Kwen truly knew what it felt like to be alone. At first, he found it a refreshing change from his previous situation; however, as the blanket of darkness fell upon the canyon, he found his isolation less than comforting. He fell into a coma of sorts, letting depression overpower his mind and body. Days and nights faded into an endless blurry backdrop to his misery. Existence had become meaningless.

Then, one night, he awoke suddenly to find himself damp and cold. The temperature was nothing new, but he had not seen a trace of liquid in months. All of a sudden, the heavens had opened up like a floodgate and released their pent-up fury. Moisture poured from the sky and a river which had seemed more of a trickle had quickly turned into terrifying rapids, raging and breaking furiously against the rocks. Kwen quickly realized that he would soon be engulfed by the raging waters. But, rather than panic, he merely returned to his state of apathy towards his surroundings. "Let the waters come," he thought, "what do I have to live for?" Soon the water was lapping at his heels. In a matter of minutes, he was completely submerged. As he was thrown about in the tumultuous river, he collided with other rocks that jutted up through the chaos, reducing him to mere sediment.

Eventually the storm ended, and he settled to the bottom of the calm waters. There he lay for hundreds of years until he had been completely covered by the sediment of other rocks who had met similar fates. One day he awoke to find himself fully compacted and reborn, the thousand year process having passed like so many minutes in his ripened eyes. As the years passed, he was heated and pressured, and soon he found himself to be a metamorphic rock. But as the heat became unbearable, he found himself sweating away into nothing, becoming a single fluid mass with his peers.

One day he felt a sudden urging from those below him. All of a sudden, he was forced up from his familiar residence. He found himself being propelled upward until there was no longer ground beneath his feet. He tumbled through the sky, falling onto the rocky ground and rolling until the freezing winds stopped him where he stood. He hardened, and returned once again to a solid state. Once again he found himself stuck. He sat in one place, going nowhere and seeing little for an indeterminable amount of time. Winds and rains carried small grains of him away, one by one. When the last grain was picked up, it soared on the winds for the longest time, frolicking in the freedom of movement and flight. It was soon deposited on none other than The Used, the rock from which it had come. Much had changed since Kwen's departure. He was pleased to find that Branden had been replaced in favor of a new rock named Dan. Dan was much less annoying than Branden, and he played drums better than a badger. Kwen settled back happily into his old home, and The Used, was once again, complete.

The End

So I still haven't read this, but I did see one sentence that I thought could be awesomer. So I fixed this by replacing the word "anyone" with "a badger" every time it occured. You can thank me whenever; I don't have a life so I'm pretty much always here.

OH YEAH THEY HAVE.
You have no idea.
No.
I.
Dea.

Here I was getting on to bitch about my problems in the most vague manner possible so as not to make the identities of the involved parties obvious.
And then it occurred to me...
What have I posted besides bitching and complaints an insecurities.
Sure, the random furry!spam or meme or gush, but is that really enough to counteract the angsty teenage whinings about how my life sucks?
So now it's time for a happy!post:
Today, Trez played with my boobs. I avoided sitting on the buttrape pole, as that's had disastrous results before--let's just say I now have one less pair of jeans. I shared fries with Conor, whose penis was once again EVERYWHERE. It always is. John deep-throated my ice cream cone. The whole thing. A good 6.5 inches. Completely in his mouth. I got nowhere close to that when I tried. Sometimes I'm glad I like women more. Sometimes? Who am I kidding? ALL THE TIME. Except when I'm doing something where my lesbianism is a handicap. But that almost never happens. I avoid those situations. I still lack the courage to tell people that I like them. That's nothing new. Fear of rejection, I guess. And here I go getting negative again. Damn. Oprah is amazing. 4srs. I now owe Catherine more cookies and sexual favors than can be given/performed in a lifetime. I'm not sure if that's a good thing or a bad thing. Nick made these amazing beats for Autumn's rap me. They are in no way related to the election... >> Sometimes I'm afraid I'm too clingy but I'm too impulsive to stop myself. Compulsively impulsive. That's kind of redundant. But anyway, the track is amazing. He sent me this awesome techno one too. If I were to go straight for an un-famous person, it would be for Nick. The six pack helps, too. And not beer. I went in the herpes bathroom and almost died the other day. Then we went upstairs and found a condom wrapper. Someone said they have motion sensors up there now. I miss reading fic. OH SHIT. I KNOW A FIC I COULD READ. I gave up on NaNoWriMo. Maybe next year, when I don't have two consecutive classes in which I have to write essays every other day. Damn, I've ranted a lot. I am doing a fic challenge, though. I wish my dad were like my friends, so I could just scribble him a quick fic for his birthday on Tuesday. At least Tuesday is a good day. Maybe I'll magically find five bucks and walk down to Dunkin Doughnuts to get him a surprise when he comes home. Dude. I've always wanted to go in a sex shop. Ooh... bad transition. >< But while I'm on the subject, I HAVE to get the "Thanks Masturbation!" shirt. HAVE TO. My sister's mouse changes colors. I miss all my music. ;_; It's on the desktop and my mom lost the password. I thought that last sentence in Spanish for some reason, but I couldn't write it in Spanish because my mom's laptop doesn't do accented vowels for some reason. I should fix that. Lykke Li is kind of a little bit awesome. I want to slash her with someone. She would've been great with Alicia. Too bad I already posted my claim. But still. Sexy music. Mr. George has a lot of awesome music like that. He's pretty beast. Mr. King is all "BOBDYLANOMG-dies-," so I dunno 'bout him. Not dissing Bob Dylan, lord no, but Mr. King being all fangirly with him... O.o Not as cool as being fangirly over Bowie, imo. The gay channel has good music. EWWWWW BLOOD ON TV. -shudder- And not the good, lesbian vampire kind, either. My feet are cold and I want to cuddle with someone. O HAI SOPHIE. Dogs can be handy at times. I guess I should wrap this sucker up. Now I've thoroughly violated your f-lists. Know that I love you all. ♥ Some more than others, but hey, I'm human. We're conditioned to judge things and places and people. Nouns. Ooh... I'm supposed to catch up on sleep tonight. I'll lurk a bit and then get to work on that. Speaking of which: I didn't fail, but I got in the seventies on that test. But everyone did. What my teacher doesn't know yet (or didn't know at the time he told me I got a 70-something) is that I didn't finish the essay. I wrote one sentence. "King Louis XIV is considered by some the greatest example of absolutism." And speaking of quotes, we watched a video before the test. DIRECT QUOTE. "Oates was stout, homosexual and extraordinarily ugly." Said by an old English guy that looks like John McCain's cousin. It's hilarious. Anyway. Hey, I really am sleepy. I think I might be more sloth than koala. Or SQUIRREL. Squirrels are hyper and they hibernate in the winter. I never fell asleep in the summer. I bet that's it. I'm a squirrel. Good to know. So koala isn't necessarily contagious after all. :D

Edit: Oh my god... Rescued by Jack's Mannequin just came on and I started crying. I'm a bit too emotionally unstable right now. That sleep thing I'd been talking about? Yeah, I think I'll do that now.

Don't drive.

Invader Zim because it's awesome.

I dunno if anyone's looking to join an RP or anything. If you've never tried it, it's SO FUN. This is my friends Ashley and Laura's comm. [Both are happily married to me, btw, so don't try anything...] It's a fun comm and I seriously think you should check it out. ESPECIALLY since we have 4/5 of Family Force 5, the most amazing band on the planet.
universityhfa

The University of Humanities and Fine Arts of Peoria, Illinois
-where your education is our first priority-


The University of Humanities and Fine Arts was established in 1948 by William H. Paulner with the intentions of making education in the humanities and fine arts easier and more affordable for everyone.
As well as the classes for degree requirements, the University of Humanities holds classes for extra credit hours so students can reach their degrees in a timely manner.
The students, both male and female, are housed in dorms on campus, and have rights to leave campus for recreation and food.


Rules † Taken/Held † Application


WANTED CHARACTERS
All of Cobra Starship except Gabe Saporta
All of Gym Class Heroes
All of The Academy is... except Adam Siska
All of Paramore except Hayley Williams
All of My Chemical Romance
All of The Hush Sound
All of All Time Low except Alex Gaskarth
All of Panic at the Disco except Ryan Ross and Brendon Urie
All of Escape the Fate
All of Family Force 5 except for the Olds brothers and Chap Stique
All of Madina Lake

Specific characters:

Conor Oberst
Andy Hurley
Mike Mogis
Brandon Flowers
Bam Margera
Cary Elwes
Xzibit
Wilmer Valderama

I'm going to kill my sister.
I'm going to stab her in the stomach with a knife, tie her up in garbage bags, and haul her into the woods and throw her carcass off the mountain.

Okay.
First, the 'I feel bad part.'
I've pretty much abandoned this LJ.
-looks down ashamedly-
That's why you haven't heard from me.

Second,
I WENT TO WARPED YESTERDAY AND HOMG IT WAS SO FUCKING AMAZING.

But I still feel bad, so...
:(
I STILL LOVE YOU ALL!

HAPPY FREAKING BIRTHDAY ARIEL!!!!! 

[To those of you that aren't Ariel, HAHA! I"M RAPING YOUR F-LIST!!!!] 

DAMMIT! 
I still don't know how to make it rainbow. 
DARN YOU, LAURA, AND YOUR COMPYOOTAH EXPERTISE!!!! 

 I just got home.
I got, like, 3 hrs of sleep last night.
Or this morning...
I did get a painting.
I stole it and I was gonna take another, bigger one
But then her mom was all "We need it to make slides for a portfolio for an art school"
And I tried so hard not to laugh my ass off.
'Cause Chris is not going to any fucking art school.
Not that she couldn't; her art's amazing.
She just never would.
But basically:
BEST SLEEPOVER EVER!!!!!!
More d33ts l8rs.

I am officially addicted.
And it's all draw_me_silly's fault.
DAMN YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Dx 

Read it and weep, biyatch.

( Anyone wanna be my seme? )

Stooooooooooooooooolen from blackeyedwicca...
[insert evil laughter]

( I'm such a bitch; I forgotted teh cut. )

This should be short.
I'm writing this fic.
Ees Gerard/Bob.
And I was debating posting it.
Should I post it here first or to a comm or just hide it in my walls where it's body will never be found?
Thoughts anyone?
[Blue's Clue: The sentence in bold is a hint as to the basis of said fic.]

So I haven't posted in a while...
Very unlike me...
( In Other News... )

( PIKCHAAZ! 8o )

( Special for <lj user= )

 The rest of my life? Uh...
Really big ones, I guess.
Like, one Jersey-sized and one Australia-sized and one Ohio-sized...
Yeah.
With a litte food on 'em, too...
Y'know, so I don't, like...
Die.